Patience with Patients

Empathy: the action of understanding, being sensitive to and aware of another persons' situation and feelings...

There is one thing I have learned about empathy as a patient in the healthcare system: some nurses have it and others do not! 

When you think of the word "nurse" some of the key words that come to mind are understanding, sensitive, sympathetic, kind, encouraging, empowering, etc.  In this post I hope to open the eyes of student nurses, newly graduated nurses, and seasoned nurses about the art of caring- It truly makes a difference.  

I know that nursing is a hard, exhausting job- but I hope you don't look at a patient as "just another patient".... each patient is special and different from one another and they need to be treated that way.  Put yourself in that patients shoes if you can seem to muster up the empathetic will - they are scared, they do NOT spend every day doing 12 hour shifts at the hospital- this is a foreign environment for them and they need you as a supporter in their journey to getting well.  

When I had my last surgery I was SUPER nervous- not that I hadn't ever had surgeries before, because I've had my fair share, but every time it seems to make me just as nervous (if not more) than before.  I could feel what felt like drunken bats in my tummy- (an upgrade from butterflies) my teeth were chattering out of sheer nervousness and my hands were trembling and don't even get me started on how much sleep I got the night before- NONE!  

When I met my pre-op nurse she was cold and distant.  I could tell that she had other things on her mind- and those things were NOT me.  While I don't mind that this nurse doesn't go home a dream of me at night, I certainly would hope that while she was in my prep room she would at least acknowledge me- if not for my sanity and security, then for safety's sake!  As it turns out there were a lot of errors that occurred with my surgery process ( I wasn't surprised to hear this) and even with my insurance that are still being worked out!  

On the other hand, when I was in my car accident there were SO many empathetic nurses, doctors, EMT's and even bystanders! When the accident happened some nice people stopped and called 911 and sat there with me until the ambulance came.  I was SCREAMING and CRYING- I had cuts in my hands, my back felt hot and numb, my head was aching, and I was disoriented.  The EMT's talked to me the entire time and attempted to calm me and told me what they were doing and why.  When they brought me out of my car in the C-spine board I couldn't see my car and I asked about it- they said that the tow truck driver would take care of it when he got to the scene- they did NOT tell me what it looked like.  When I got to the hospital I was still crying out of fear and anxiety.  With the neck brace and C-spine board the only place you can literally look it up- so the nurse would come into my field of vision and tell me what they were going to do as they were cutting off my clothes in the trauma room.  One of the nurses could tell that I was just petrified and she had a woman call my mom and husband and proceeded to hold my hand when she could- I can remember her name and face to this day because she gave me what I needed most at that time- empathy and security.  That was a great nurse! 

I read a book called "The Other End of the Stethoscope" by Marcus Engel- I truly believe that this book should be a REQUIRED read for those in nursing school.  It is about a man's experience of the healthcare system after a traumatic accident that caused him to lose his sight, etc.  It is so powerful and so eye opening and is a very good reference of how healthcare professionals should and SHOULD NOT act.  It is definitely an inspiration for me.

Another book I just read ( it only took about 2 hours) is a book called "The Things They Never Taught you in Nursing School- and Should Have!" Its a really short read but it has great insights about why some nurse should never have become nurses at all! These nurses I'd like to call "the paycheck chasers"- these nurses don't care about their patients, their safety, or their peers; they simply want to get paid and go home.  I really recommend reading this book after you graduate- it touches on a lot of good subjects I never even thought of ( and I will most likely refer to this book in future posts).

On another note I would like to acknowledge that some patients are difficult to deal with, sometimes they can be so scared of the hospital environment it causes them to put up a shield that makes them come off as rude, etc.  Usually having a conversation with them acknowledging their fear will help to bring down those walls because it helps build a rapport with you as the nurse.  

Some non- compliant patients may cause you to lose you cool since you are talking your brains out and they are not listening- DON'T let this cause you to be less empathic.  THINK of how this person may be scared, ask them WHY they are not choosing to do XYZ- is there a valid reason?  Most likely they are not educated about what ever procedure, medication, etc. you are trying to get them to comply with- TEACH them about it! You're a nurse- It is your job! They may still decide to be non-compliant, but at least you tried your best to benefit their well being, and they will certainly appreciate that.  

I know there are some patients that are just sticklers- there may seem to be no hope for them, you might be contemplating a psych consult (for the patient or yourself ;) ) but please don't give up on them because SOMETHING is going on! Figure out what it is and be empathetic!  I always think of these kinds of patients as those who make me grateful for my "regular", "easy" patients- but, everyone needs a challenge now and then! 

Have you ever had a bad/good nurse experience? Feel free to share them! Anyone ever struggle with patients? Let us know! :) 

(Thank you to Kim Hong for the quote posted above and for following my blog!)