Death: it is the subject of conversation that makes new grads and nursing students quite uncomfortable. I have thought up several theories to why this is – why would such a natural part of life make us inexperienced nurses squirm?
First, because we are new to
the nursing game we already feel inadequate starting from scratch and being
surrounded by seasoned nurses- some feel that when a patient dies it is a
failure on the part of the nurse and we are all afraid of failure!
The rationale I use
to make more sense of things pertaining to this is EVERYONE started as a new
nurse- although some nurses don’t remember and think they were born with a
steth in their ears, well, they WERE NOT. Don’t feel inadequate- I know that is hard
to swallow, but you are in a learning process that will never end. Death is not failure, death is a part of the
life cycle, it is natural, it is inevitable.
As long as you help your patient and their family to the best of your
ability- you have succeeded!
Second, we don’t want someone
to die because of us! We don’t want that blood on our hands- that is our jobs
worst-case scenario!
Again death is a
part of life. Obviously a person will
not die from actions your have made as long as you are doing safety checks and
when in doubt ASK SOMEONE!!! Make sure that you are well versed on your
hospitals rules and policies and you will not be held accountable as long as
you act within your guidelines.
Third, it is hard to help a
family in mourning. Everyone grieves
differently and it can be intimidating from time to time. In nursing school they never really tell you
(at least in mine) to what point you are supposed to proceed with the patients
requests to pray with them and do certain rituals.
I am a strong
believer that the family of a patient that is dying or has passed are also my
patients. They need help, they need
education, they need teaching, they need support- everything a nurse can
provide! I will always participate and help a family when I can or when it is
asked of me. You don’t have to believe in the same things or have the same
religion to be present in their lives or even just be helpful. Always ask if there is anything you can do to
help and use your therapeutic communication!
Finally, death is sad. When you have a patient for several shifts
you start to really connect and build a strong rapport, the memories that they
leave you with can last in your mind for a long time, causing you to grieve as
well.
If you have grown
fond of your patient that has passed away, it is common that you will go
through the grief process as the family does.
It is important to put the family first.
You are aloud to cry with them and you are aloud to attend the funeral
if you are aware of where it will be. It
is also very important that you receive the help you need- since nursing is a
very stressful job, most nurses benefit greatly from therapy. It can also be helpful to discuss your
sadness with other (keeping HIPAA in mind, of course!)
I hope that this has brought
you to a less intimidating view of death as you start your nursing career.
Has anyone in your family
passed away? Can you remember the nursing care that person received? Did the
nurse care for you and your family as well?
